1. Highway Patrol: Rolling tax collectors
2. Female colossal gorilla: Thong Kong
3. I mistakenly called AA to get my car towed instead of AAA – the driver told me it
was going to take twelve steps to get my car hitched up.
4. New law firm: Fleetwood, Mack, Arroni and Cheese
5. TV sitcom: Black high school basketball player works in his father’s grocery store in
gang-heavy Compton: “Kobe Gillis”
6. Older man hitting on waaay younger woman: Guy: “Have you ever dated older guys?”
Young Woman: No, but I’ve dated a poltergeist and you don’t have a ghost of a
chance to get in my pants.
7. Money maker for the two-tier society: Dog plastic surgery-breast reduction, tummy
tucks, tail adjustment, jaw reconstruction.
8. Punchline to a joke that remains unwritten: Absinthe makes the fart grow Honda.
9. Pre-teens have Hanna Montana – Boomers have Tacoma Glaucoma
10. Man to anger management counselor after one year of classes – “Well – yeah, I cold
cocked the bastard but this time I didn’t get angry at all – stayed cool as a cucumber -
he steals my barstool – I knock him out. This class has been great.
11. Accountants of rock legend: Ed Zeppelin, Barnaby Wild, Roland on the River
12. Happy song for Psychiatric professionals: “Jung at Heart” – It is hard you will find to
be scrambled of mind – when you’re Jung at heart….if you should survive all that
Freudian jive – think of all you’ll derive from bein’ alive – and here is the best part
you’ll have a head start, if you are among the very Jung at heart.
13. It is 1850 London we’re standing on the bank of the Thames when a huge white
whale swims slowly past as hundreds of hungry street urchins gather to watch….
Moby Dickens